Beth's version of Life 101

Well, no news is bad news for the Rainey family. That's why you don't hear from me for a while. I save all my boo-hooing for my family and close friends!!! Anyways, I've been feeling a bit better lately and have been thinking about getting back to posting a message soon. These are the things I want to pass along from what I've learned over the past few months:

-you really can't change people; I knew this but lately I've been put through the wringer learning this AGAIN

-nothing is more important than taking care of yourself; if you don't do that you can't help anyone and it catches up with you eventually

-don't be afraid to look at the repeated things in your life that are your stumbling blocks; they're there to teach you a lesson; God didn't send them but He didn't remove them either!

-while you deal with your stumbling blocks don't forget to count your blessings, no matter how small they are; they are all around you and are not just a coincidence

-hang tight to the people who REALLY lift you up, help you, are there for you when you need them; let them help you because you'll have your turn to pay it forward later

-God does not punish us or put us through hard times on purpose; He is a loving God who I know is always there for me; I may not know the plans He has for my life or that of my family but he's got our backs and I have to trust; that's what faith really is


-this world is full of people who say they are one thing and show who they really are; look at people's actions, trust your intuitions and listen CAREFULLY to what they say and DON'T say

-no one can tell me who I am or what I'm supposed to be or do; that's my job and I'll take that into my own hands, thank you very much!!!

With all that said, I wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving (American style, for all my Canadian friends and relatives). Be safe, eat just the right amount of everything so that it brings on that great nap-a-comin' feeling, without the I-feel-kinda-sick-feeling and do at least one thing that really brings a smile to your face. Oh, and one last thing........ Go Texas Longhorns! Hook 'Em!

P.S. None of these statements are written with Rick in mind, by the way. Yes, we are still married and he is my knight with a Texan drawl!!

Honey, Full Alert...It says "Rainey" on Caller ID!!!!!

So, are you wondering if I've been blown out to sea? After all, I did refer to the hurricane as Ike Shmike. Nah, most of you know by now that when there's a gap in my postings it usually means that my parents have been up to their usual antics, which means crisis mode for Susie and I. Yup, here we go again. But.............. this is not the format to talk about my *$%&! No, on my blog I just use sarcasm to vent my frustrations and purge a bit of the *$%& that keeps building up. Just watch out though and screen your caller ID. I might try and call you for moral support!!

On a serious note, at this time I am ever so grateful for my family, friends and church family that continue to support and lift me and my family up during these past 3-5 very difficult years. I would never have gotten through without you all. You mean the world to me.

Oh yah, can't forget my therapist and my psychiatrist!!! Mental health is good!

We're in the Cone of Uncertainty and Hunkering Down!

Don't you love all of that hurricane vocabulary! Words/phrases like cone of uncertainty, hunkering down, storm surge, eye wall, "Cat" 2 , millibars,etc are all part of our conversations nowadays!

Well, the Rainey family is settling in for a long stormy night, thanks to Hurricane Ike! It's after 9:00 pm on Friday night. We woke to a sunny day that soon turned blustery and overcast but things haven't looked that unusual until a few hours ago. By then, some clouds were looking a little different and the gusts of wind were a bit more than usual. We have had no rain though and still have electricity (obviously, duh!). We expect to wake up to a different situation!

It's been an interesting turn of events, these last few days. While Ike has been churning around in the Gulf for a while now (back when we were still watching out for Gustav, Hannah and Josephine) it wasn't predicted to go into Houston until Wed. evening. Everywhere from Florida to Louisiana to Mexico has been in the "cone of uncertainty" and it's just been a wait and see situation.

By Thursday everyone seemed to accept that Ike was heading straight for us. It's been weird watching the transformation of the city. The normal "God-awful" traffic into town was quite light and the north-bound lanes were congested with cars, people pulling boats and buses filled with evacuees. After driving the carpool kids into Lauren's school I had a bit of time before a doctor's appt. I decided to get some new flashlights and extra batteries. As I walked into the Target store you could feel the tension and anxiety in the air. People were pushing their carts at record speed and sales personnel with baskets of DD batteries and cases of water soon had movie star status, with dozens of people standing around, reaching out their arms to them. I managed to get 3 packages of batteries and had to buy orange and black flashlights from the Halloween section because all others were gone. Filling up my car with gas was a bit of a hassle but I managed to get it done too.

I did our weekly grocery shopping on Wed. morning, when we thought the storm was hitting somewhere around Corpus Christi (we might get a bit of rain from that) and bought our usual foods - lots of fresh fruits and veggies, 1% milk, lowfat choc. soy milk, whole wheat pasta, etc. That healthy eating went right out the window by yesterday! While at Target, I decided to buy some more non-perishable canned goods that we could heat up on our gas stove when our power goes out. So back to the Spaghettio's we go. I also bought Coke, puffy Cheeto's and blueberry poptarts. Yea, yea, I know we should be fine with the plums and choc. soy milk but who wants to eat that when you're hunkered down in the house for 3 days. Let's live a little, huh!!! Here's to comfort food! When talking to my sister yesterday she mentioned that she was going to buy a bottle of wine. She told me that the line to check out at Spec's Liquor was longer than the line at the grocery store!!!

This morning, my friend Diann and I were dying to get together for coffee. Like I said earlier, the weather was fine, so I picked her up and we tried to go to Starbucks but they were all closed. We picked up taquitoes and coffee at Whataburger and went to eat and talk at the park. We had a great time venting to each other before we had to spend the next 3 days trapped inside our homes. On the way home, I realized that it looked like a ghost town around here. Gas stations were empty because their tanks were empty, almost all stores were closed (some even boarded up) as were all schools in the area. Very few houses around us are boarded up, although 3 just on our small street are boarded up tight. You turn on the TV and all you see are reporters wearing raincoats with their channel's logo on the pocket (they all seem to wear baseball caps as well, logo intact) reporting non-stop on the flooding that began before dawn this morning in Galveston, showing the inevitable palm tree blowing in the wind, etc.

I don't know, but I'm just not that freaked out about the storm . I just don't scare that easy. Hey, that's a benefit from having my weekly crisis situations with my parents!!! Ike Shmike - that's nothin' compared Hurricanes Judy and Joe!!!

Here We Go Again

No time to blog. I'm in a hurry to go buy more Spaghetti'os!!!!!!!! Gustav is coming!!!!

Actually, we're going to Tyler for Labor Day weekend and will be staying with Rick's family. We haven't evacuated but we are packing a few extra clothes. Hope it's all for nothing.

Grocery store, canned food aisle, here I come.

You are Cordially Invited To....

Who is this couple with stars in their eyes? Hmmmmm, if I look really closely I can kind of recognize them! Yes, Rick and I celebrated our 20th anniversary on Wed. Aug. 20th. We had a busy day, followed by a dinner at a restaurant that seemed really loud with bad service (good food though!) and we were going to go out to a movie (he was going to see Mamma Mia with me) but we were too tired. We went home and I fell asleep before I finished my Starbucks coffee. Yup, sounds like an old married couple to me!!!

I look at our photos, and think back to August 20th, 1988 and realized that I had no idea what being married was really all about. We had never lived with each other and I had never shared a bed or a bank account with anyone before. How did we know we would stay together forever! After the first googly-eyed, lovey dovey month, and reality of sharing everything every day, I thought I had made a big mistake. Really, I did. Yes, Rick knows!!! :)

Month after month, year after year, baby after baby, etc. and here we are 2 decades later. When it comes to weddings, I think we have it all wrong. We should have some small official ceremony with no one but God and a minister or justice of the peace and then, IF you make it to 20 years or more, THEN you have the big wedding, with the big party and all of your friends and family that have helped you stay married for so long.

Really think about it. I look at our wedding party photo and realize that there are only 3 people in the photo that we keep in touch with on a weekly basis and one of them is my sister! There are 4 people that we haven't seen or talked to in at least 12 years or more. It doesn't mean that these people weren't important to us then and now but hardly any of them had an impact on our marriage. Thankfully, we picked our matron of honor and best man correctly. Thanks, Cindy and Andy, for all you've done to support us, our marriage and our family through ALLLLLLL of the rough spots. We love you guys!

If we were to get married again (yes, to each other) I would really KNOW what it means to take those vows and stick to them. I would have first hand knowledge of loving and cherishing, having and holding, in sickness and health. Saying "I Do" is something I try to practice every day, like when we have a disagreement and I choose not to call Rick the bad word that floats around inside my head. It means putting our marriage first, before my pride, or my desire to be right. This is what true love really is to me.

Our new wedding party photo: I would have people around that lift us up, love us in spite of our flaws and are true friends and family. These are the people who listen to me when I cry about my children's problems and then trust enough to have Lauren and Josh babysit their precious babies. Or how about the friends that cooked us meals and called to check up on me when I had my recent surgery. Or the ones that stay in children's choir with me because they know I'd be lost without them. How about the friends that cry or laugh with me when I need to, understand when I'm too upset or busy to return phone calls and are willing to meet me at Starbucks whereever and whenever. What about the friends and family that pray for and support us during these difficult times with my parents. They continue to pick up the phone and listen to me yell and froth at the mouth for the 100th time, in spite of the fact that they have caller ID!

Would I wear white at our wedding - hmmmm. While a comfy pair of Chico's jeans, my favorite shirt and bare feet seem perfect, I know that God washes away my sins and makes me like new. So, yea, I could wear white. Would I make my bridesmaids wear green dresses with green pantyhose (yes, they were a SHEER green, that was the trend then, okay?!!!), Heck no! Rick in a tux, I think not. He can wear whatever he wants (well, almost). I'd just make sure he had a better hair cut than he had 20 years ago. Oh, and short, clean fingernails.

Our reception - it would be one heck of a party. Hey, after all we've survived, we deserve it. Plus, anyone who has been our friends and close family through our Rainey kind of days deserves an open bar!! No ice sculptures or receiving lines, just lots of good food, funny stories, I'm sure there would be an impression or two from old Ricky Poo, hugs, a few tears, great music, singing and dancing. Maybe that's what it will take to get Rick to take dancing lessons with me!!

Last but not least, what about the honeymoon? Tropical, baby!! Somewhere with warm water, a cool breeze, delicious food, pina coladas, spa services but no service for cell phones or blackberries (ah hem - this is addressed to you, Mr. Rainey). And no, I would not be falling asleep by 9:30!!!!

Rick, I love you and can't make it through a single day without you. Here's to the next 20 years, my dear.

Anyone Need a Few Dozen Cans of Spagetti-O's?

So, we're hunkering down in our house from the effects of Tropical Storm Edouard!!! Actually, Lauren or Josh's whirling dervish behavior has more effect on us than this storm has. We've had a good amount of rain, but we've needed it desperately. There's been hardly any wind, no lightening, no thunder, no tornadoes and so, as Martha Stewart says, "It's a good thing".

Starting Sunday night, the 3 main Houston TV channels have bombarded us with what to expect for the upcoming storm. Everyone started gathering their batteries, canned food, drinking water and filling up their cars with gas in preparation. In fact, Rick and I filled up our cars on Sunday night around midnight because we knew there would be a mad dash as the gas pumps on Monday morning. People here have a touch of post traumatic stress disorder when it comes to storms in the Gulf of Mexico. First we had Hurricane Katrena back in 2005, which didn't hit Houston but had a huge impact as thousands of people came here after the storm hit New Orleans. Then, just a few weeks after that, Hurricane Rita was heading straight for Houston. We evacuated because Rick had to be in a place that had power so he could continue to do his public relations and emergency management thing for his company. I remember driving in the middle of the night to my mother-in-law's home in Tyler (usually a 3.5 hour drive, took us over 6) and listening to the radio coverage of the storm. At one point the storm was so strong it would have been a category 7 if the scale went that high. Fortunately, it did lose strength before making landfall to the east of Houston, so the city had hardly any damage at all.

So, now we've had another storm that people prepared for and there's been hardly a gust of wind. It was funny watching the news this morning because you see reporters doing live shots from outside, trying to make a bigger deal of the storm than there actually was. At one point, one guy talked about being in a torrential downpour but he must have forgotten that he was outside and we could easily see that it was barely raining. I know, I know - that's the only stories they prepared for and had 8 hours of coverage to fill!! With Rick having been in the TV reporting business years ago, he watched all of this coverage with a giant smirk on his face. Yup, his sarcasm was in rare form before he stopped himself, knowing that his audience of one (that would be me) was not amused!

It does kind of make me feel silly to prepare, buy canned goods that we don't normally buy (I only bought 3 cans of spaghetti-O's, not dozens, but they're already gone), get the flash lights ready, etc. to just have a nice, gentle rain for most of the day. Most people stayed home from work, many businesses closed for the day and I would bet that there are a few gas stations that have been pumped dry. It feels like the meteorologists' reports, exacerbated by the media, are crying wolf a bit, and I think that will make people less likely to respond the next time.

Maybe God sees our hectic, busy lives and thinks we all needed a day off. Who knows. Oh well, off to have dinner. Canned tuna, anyone?

Talk About Feeling Crotchety!!!

Okay, if you're a guy and you're reading this blog, please stop reading this post. It definitely is a womanly conversation!!! I'll be able to tell if you read it because if you do you won't be able to look me in the eye again! :)

Ladies, now that the coast is clear I thought I'd tell you about my lovely summer, other than what I posted yesterday. This has been my summer to take care of myself. My dear friend, Hilary, has been going through some really tough times medically and that made me think about how I have ignored my health, being more worried about Lauren, Josh, my dad and my mom. It started with a trip to a new ob/gyn after realizing that if I don't go to the doctor I'll be forced to wear a diaper due to some distinctly womanly issues. I decided I wanted a woman physician, just because she could relate more to what I'm going through. Being over 40 sure has affected my body!! Ugh. So, after the lovely woman's checkup (you know, the kind of visit that makes you sweat during the checkup so much the paper sheet clings to you) I get my orders for a mammogram.

I didn't sweat during this one. I was too busy holding my breath and wincing as some woman I've never met moves ME (ahem) around more than humanly possible. I always forget how much it really does ummmm, hurt isn't quite the word; maybe painfully uncomfortable is more appropriate! All's clear and I'm glad that's over for a year.

During my sweaty ob/gyn visit the doctor finds 2 uterine fibroids, a big one and a little one. So, she decides that I need an ultrasound, but she can't do it that day. So, I go back a week after my first visit to her and 2 days after my mammogram, for the ultrasound, the invasive kind, if you catch my drift. Yea, again, my body gets no respect, no respect! The findings? The big fibroid has to come out and it will take 3 small procedures for that to occur and for my problems to go away. While she's "there" I happen to mention that I'm tired of peeing on myself every time I sneeze, cough, run, hear running water and so the doctor mentions that I should go see the urologist.

My urologist's name is Dr. Winkel. His motto is "If you can't go tinkle, call Dr. Winkel." No joke!! So I've now had 3 visits dealing with my bladder, etc. I can tell you that I have a lovely pink lining in my bladder (yup, I've seen it) and according to the nurse my bladder can hold so much fluid that she declared it to "be the size of Texas". So there! Good quality to have when you're a teacher. Maybe I should put that on my next resume. Okay, I've digressed! Back to Dr. Winkel. My next assignment was a lovely test where they measure the level of my urinary incontinence. Needless to say, I was glad I was in what they call the wet room. Let's leave it at that. I apologized to Dr. Winkel for ummm, making things "wet" and he said "This is the only job where I get pissed on but I don't get pissed off". As you can tell, he's quite a character. A CT scan completed later on reveled no stones and no other problems. Whew!

What this all means is that I'm having surgery on Friday, August 8th. They'll remove the fibroid, do a D&C and then a uterine ablation (with a laser type of thing called Novasure). Then Dr. Winkel will do a "lift". I wonder if he can give me an eye brow lift at the same time? Hmmm, probably not! The surgery will take about 1-2 hours and I'll go home after I wake up enough to stagger out of there. I won't have any external scars, so you know what that means. Talk about being a crotchety lady! I remember when I gave birth to Lauren and Josh and they gave me these mesh underwear that had this gel pack in the crotch. You had to squeeze the gel pack, something broke and some kind of chemical reaction took place that made them cold, like an ice pack. It sounds awful now but I remember being so glad when it was time for my icy undies. I wonder if I'll get any of those this time. I sure hope so.

So, that concludes the health events of the last 2 months. Aren't you glad you didn't come along on my summer vacation? I go to the dentist in 3 weeks. Maybe I should cancel?

P.S. - None of my events can compare to what my friend Hilary is going through right now and I know that she knows that my stories are not to slight the experiences that she and her family are having this summer. If you are lucky enough to have good health with minimal concerns, like I do, remember to thank God and all your lucky stars each and every day. Love you Hil!