Did you know we're moving? Yes, tis true! To a colony. Check it out...
http://m.youtube.com/index?desktop_uri=%2F&gl=US#/watch?v=thp4KhiXe0s"
YouTube > Colony-of-Losers.com presents "Come out, Come Out Wherever You Are"
Thanks to my cousin, Neil, for sharing with me!
It's been weird since Josh went to Utah. We went from many people having no idea the extent of Josh's mental illness, bipolar disorder, to being completely open about his and Lauren's struggles. We just talk about it as if it's a common place thing. And, actually, it is!
*"Approximately 57.7 million Americans experience a mental health disorder in a given year. One in 17 lives with a serious mental illness such as schizophrenia, major depression or bipolar disorder and about one in 10 children live with a serious mental or emotional disorder"
*NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) www.nami.org
There is a freedom that's come from sharing with others about our life. I don't feel the stigma of mental illness on our family. I feel unburdened. Unashamed. Understood better. Don't get me wrong. I'm not, nor have ever been, ashamed of my children. I love them to pieces. I know you know that.
I guess it's like wearing a tight article of clothing. You feel okay wearing it, but when you unzip or take it off, you realize how constricted you were. I feel like a stomach "coming out" of an unzippered pair of jeans. Free!
Free to be just who and what we are, as a family, as parents, as human beings. Not holed up in our house afraid to talk about our issues, afraid that we'd be a total drag to our friends because we have nothing but our screwed up lives to share (Come on, you know it's true. You ARE afraid to ask 'How's it going?') hehehe!
But, I haven't been totally honest. I know you LOVE IT when I'm totally honest, right!!!
It's not just my kids that are moving to the colony. It's me too. Ive suffered with major depression for a few years now. At first, we (me, Rick, Dr. Roche, Dr. Tarnow) thought it was situational. I mean who wouldn't be out of their mind living our life! It's been a battle since 1995, getting worse in 2003, and really been a "neverending pit of crap" since 2007! 'Tis true, I'm afraid to say. So true.
Who knows! Maybe one day I won't feel depressed. Not holding my breath here. In this case, the apple didn't fall far from the tree with my parents, to me and to the kids. Um, to Rick's family... you're DNA is not off the hook either! :) Regardless of where "It" came from, we've just gotta deal. Like I've said before, MENTAL ILLNESS SUCKS!
But, I know my kids and I are not the only ones. There are a lot of people out there going thru some of,or worse than, our struggles.
So... like Michael Kimber says 'COME OUT, COME OUT WHEREVER YOU ARE'! The colony is certainly not always the best or easiest community to live in, but you won't be alone, you've got some pretty awesome neighbors and you might just be inspired! AND, no tight jeans are allowed!
well of COURSE you're depressed. it's hard enough being a parent with the regular batch of parenting challenges, never mind having all the extra challenges you guys have faced.
ReplyDeletebut you are a pretty upbeat and optimisic person, i think. and after all this, you know how to take the bull by the horns.
OK, going to try this again...last one got "lost" in cyberspace, I guess.
ReplyDeleteThank you!! You are an amazingly open, generous, and eloquent lady. You've managed to find the exact words for the "coming out" feeling~relief from the confining, constricting, and confusing jeans(thoughts, expectations, and false beliefs). I know exactly how it feels to be bound by depression, drug abuse brought on by depression, suicide scares, and the confusion of the mental health litany of healthcare providers. However, my experiences come from being the only non-depressed person in the household.
This is not a bid for sympathy or a pity party for me~It's just my life and I deal with it the best I know how~minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day, and ,if I'm lucky, year by year. Only thru faith and a network of understanding (as in, been there~know it sucks) friends have I been able to get thru the past several years. I know there is strength in numbers and I hope you continue to post on this blog. If even 1 other person is helped to feel as though their life is worth oh so much more than they've been allowed to feel, then you have done a mighty work, my friend.
Ah Beth...Thanks so much for giving "us" a voice. Whether dealing with a child, ourselves, or in a lot a cases both. We need to have advocates, people willing to help, show compassion, educate, and most of all to take away the whole "mental illness stigma." I am be pitied, but there are times where some compassion would be useful. I don't need to be judged. That can only happen before God. Well ok, maybe if I end up in criminal court. I do need to be accepted and understood. Don't let ignorance keep you away. Choose to be educated.
ReplyDeleteMost importantly, keep advocating, learning, or fighting.
Mental Illness Sucks...Life Doesn't Have To!