Talk About Feeling Crotchety!!!

Okay, if you're a guy and you're reading this blog, please stop reading this post. It definitely is a womanly conversation!!! I'll be able to tell if you read it because if you do you won't be able to look me in the eye again! :)

Ladies, now that the coast is clear I thought I'd tell you about my lovely summer, other than what I posted yesterday. This has been my summer to take care of myself. My dear friend, Hilary, has been going through some really tough times medically and that made me think about how I have ignored my health, being more worried about Lauren, Josh, my dad and my mom. It started with a trip to a new ob/gyn after realizing that if I don't go to the doctor I'll be forced to wear a diaper due to some distinctly womanly issues. I decided I wanted a woman physician, just because she could relate more to what I'm going through. Being over 40 sure has affected my body!! Ugh. So, after the lovely woman's checkup (you know, the kind of visit that makes you sweat during the checkup so much the paper sheet clings to you) I get my orders for a mammogram.

I didn't sweat during this one. I was too busy holding my breath and wincing as some woman I've never met moves ME (ahem) around more than humanly possible. I always forget how much it really does ummmm, hurt isn't quite the word; maybe painfully uncomfortable is more appropriate! All's clear and I'm glad that's over for a year.

During my sweaty ob/gyn visit the doctor finds 2 uterine fibroids, a big one and a little one. So, she decides that I need an ultrasound, but she can't do it that day. So, I go back a week after my first visit to her and 2 days after my mammogram, for the ultrasound, the invasive kind, if you catch my drift. Yea, again, my body gets no respect, no respect! The findings? The big fibroid has to come out and it will take 3 small procedures for that to occur and for my problems to go away. While she's "there" I happen to mention that I'm tired of peeing on myself every time I sneeze, cough, run, hear running water and so the doctor mentions that I should go see the urologist.

My urologist's name is Dr. Winkel. His motto is "If you can't go tinkle, call Dr. Winkel." No joke!! So I've now had 3 visits dealing with my bladder, etc. I can tell you that I have a lovely pink lining in my bladder (yup, I've seen it) and according to the nurse my bladder can hold so much fluid that she declared it to "be the size of Texas". So there! Good quality to have when you're a teacher. Maybe I should put that on my next resume. Okay, I've digressed! Back to Dr. Winkel. My next assignment was a lovely test where they measure the level of my urinary incontinence. Needless to say, I was glad I was in what they call the wet room. Let's leave it at that. I apologized to Dr. Winkel for ummm, making things "wet" and he said "This is the only job where I get pissed on but I don't get pissed off". As you can tell, he's quite a character. A CT scan completed later on reveled no stones and no other problems. Whew!

What this all means is that I'm having surgery on Friday, August 8th. They'll remove the fibroid, do a D&C and then a uterine ablation (with a laser type of thing called Novasure). Then Dr. Winkel will do a "lift". I wonder if he can give me an eye brow lift at the same time? Hmmm, probably not! The surgery will take about 1-2 hours and I'll go home after I wake up enough to stagger out of there. I won't have any external scars, so you know what that means. Talk about being a crotchety lady! I remember when I gave birth to Lauren and Josh and they gave me these mesh underwear that had this gel pack in the crotch. You had to squeeze the gel pack, something broke and some kind of chemical reaction took place that made them cold, like an ice pack. It sounds awful now but I remember being so glad when it was time for my icy undies. I wonder if I'll get any of those this time. I sure hope so.

So, that concludes the health events of the last 2 months. Aren't you glad you didn't come along on my summer vacation? I go to the dentist in 3 weeks. Maybe I should cancel?

P.S. - None of my events can compare to what my friend Hilary is going through right now and I know that she knows that my stories are not to slight the experiences that she and her family are having this summer. If you are lucky enough to have good health with minimal concerns, like I do, remember to thank God and all your lucky stars each and every day. Love you Hil!

I'm My Kids' Mom

So, we're down to our last few weeks of summer vacation and what do we have to show for it? Well, let's see.............. sleeping in, no driving into town approx. 7-8 times a week, only having to fill up my car with gas less than once a week, catching up on phone calls with friends, napping on the couch in the afternoon, getting together with our friends several times, going to movies, watching movies at home after dinner, still avoiding laundry, etc...

With gas prices the way they are and with no real vacation this summer the kids and I have been home a lot. They might disagree with me but it's been quite productive as far as relationships go. Remember Dr. Laura? She used to have (maybe she still does) a radio talk show about values, family, relationships, etc. I used to listen to her back in 1995, when I drove Lauren to The Westview School (about 6 blocks from Lauren's school now) every day, both ways, for 3 years, with Josh as a toddler. Dr. Laura was my salvation, my bit of sanity in our new world in Holland. I know that Dr. Laura rubbed people the wrong way a lot of times but her message was pure and simple - love your children, spouse, and others in your life, show them respect, act like a responsible human being and do the right thing, no matter what. I guess that stuck with me and that's what I strive for each day. Dr. Laura's sign-on and sign-off was "I'm Dr. Laura and I'm my kid's mom".

Being home this past year and this summer has really given me an opportunity to be my kids' mom more than ever before and it's been wonderful (well, most of the time). I'm so glad I have a husband who realizes how important it is for me to be at home and not worn down with my teaching career. We have suffered financially by only having 1 income but we're fighting for our kids' future here so our finances right now are just the price we have to pay. If Lauren or Josh had some terrible, life-threatening disease, we'd spend every penny we had to save them, and that's exactly how Rick and I see the task we have in front of us. We only have a handful of years left before our kids head off to college and there's a lot more that needs to be done. Trust me!!!

Today was a pretty good day. Mid morning my dad called and said he was coming over for a visit. That's great, because it's usually us going to see them each time. However, let's just say that our house was a bit of a disaster. I wouldn't have worried too much about Dad seeing our messy house but the lady who drives him would be here too, so that put us into full alert mode. In about 45 minutes, the kids and I picked up, cleaned, vacuumed, dusted, washed and fluffed until the downstairs was in great shape. The upstairs, well... that's another story! But the important thing here is that Lauren and Josh are doing so well with chores lately and today proved it. For so long the kids didn't have many chores to do because we were working on other behaviors and life skills. Now that they're doing better we can expect more of them and they have risen to the challenge. They vacuumed and cleaned like champs, doing a thorough job on each task. That's a big deal for them and I'm proud of them. We're working on them cleaning their own bathrooms now, but need a bit more time to become proficient!

This summer's down time has also allowed for me to help them with their relationship with each other. If you've been around us for more than 2 minutes then you know that Lauren has a temper and is prone to lash out at Josh. Josh, in turn, teases Lauren and tries to push her buttons, which makes her lash out, which makes Josh angry so he teases her, and so on, and so on........
Today, we had a break-through. Lauren is really trying to repair her relationship with Josh and change her ways of lashing out at Josh. They had a bit of an impass, but with time, no distractions and me facilitating, they got through it and said some really mature and caring things to each other. It was great to see. Now, will they remember it tomorrow, in the heat of a battle over the computer, ummmm, NO! But we're not sprinting for the finish line here, we're in a marathon and it takes a while to get to the finish line. I just hope I'm not eligible for AARP when they cross it.

There's no better job for me in the whole world than being my kids' mom.

For the Fashionista in You!

Okay, this is a shameless plug for my darling daughter, Lauren. She is a phenomenal jewelry maker and is now a business woman extraordinaire! She has been pushing Rick and I to help her get started and she is now ready to sell! This photo is of my mother-in-law modeling the earrings that Lauren made her for Christmas. Check out her website http://www.fashionistagurl-08.blogspot.com/ and see what she's got in stock!! There is also a link on my blog, under Blogs to Browse.

Lauren can make custom orders for you. Just tell her what colors and style you're looking for and she'll get busy. She's made me some beautiful pieces, including a lovely necklace and earring set for my birthday. When my sister saw it she thought I got it at Chico's. I'll have to post a picture of the set soon.

Gotta get a present for that someone special? Give Fashionista Creations a try!

Rick and the Chick Flick!

Okay, let's just start by saying that I believe I have the best husband in the world! He's loving and attentive, hardworking, hilarious, handsome, considerate and I know he loves me dearly! Not to mention that he has a nice tushy!!! Now, with all that said, I do have a bone to pick with him and I'm wondering if anyone else goes through this same dilemma.

Rick and I love movies. It's a good thing I do because all you who know him know that he can quote just about any line from any movie he's ever seen. Now that Lauren and Josh have followed in their father's voice-imitating talents, I get playbacks from movies and TV shows on an hourly basis. In order for Rick to share his knowledge and talents with his offspring we must watch movies over and over again. This is where my problems lie.

Somehow, we end up watching repeatedly every Jim Carrey movie, as well as ones with Clint Eastwood. Movies like Rambo, Wall Street, Caddy Shack, The Matrix, Austin Powers movies, Ben Stiller movies, School of Rock, Raising Arizona, Field of Dreams, Talk Radio, Dr. Strange Love, the Terminator movies, and the ever famous Napoleon Dynomite are also viewed often. As a woman who loves her husband, I usually watch these movies with Rick and we play this game where we say lines and the other person tries to guess which movie it's from. I have stumped the old Rickster a handful of times, much to his pleasant surprise. Hey, I'd rather do this than watch him play a 4 hour long round of golf, even if he promises to let me drive the cart!!!!

We're a couple that likes to do things together so I just assumed that he would watch movies with me that I really like. Oh, but NOOOOOOO! Any of those "chick flick" things are off limits for him. How is Rick watching "The River Runs Through It" or "Dirty Dancing" any worse than me watching "Dumb and Dumber", huh? Can anyone explain this to me? Sleepless in Seattle vs. Zoolander!! Sex and the City vs. Superbad? I've seen all of HIS movies but he avoids my movies like the plague.

Am I alone in my movie melodrama? Anyone have a good name for guy movies, one that rivals the saying "Chick Flick"?

It's Sammich Time

I was having lunch with my friend, Diann, one day and we started to compare horror stories of taking care of our parents. I told her that someone had told me that I was part of the 'sandwich generation', squeezed between taking care of our children AND our parents at the same time. Diann's witty sense of humor took over and before we knew it, we'd decided to write a book about this topic. I can't remember if we came up with a title or not (Diann, did we?) but I knew we wanted to put something like "Lettuce tell you the whole (wheat) truth with no bologna!". We thought we were pretty clever. We even came up with several chapters. Oh, it's been too long since I've had a "Hero Sandwich" lunch with Diann (that's what we called our get-togethers) and I've lost all sense of humor. Trust me, it's been grilled (cheese) and toasted right out of me.

The reason I've been so silent for the past several weeks is that I've been smack dab in the middle of the biggest, nastiest sandwich of a dilemma and too depressed to talk about it. Besides, you didn't come here for all the lovely details. Put it this way, this "sandwich" leaves me with a lot of nausea and heartburn. Rick can't stomach the taste these days and the taste is way to strong to allow the kids to get anywhere close to the table. David (my brother-in-law), well, put it this way - sandwiches made in our family are off his menu and Susie's sandwiches have been burned too many times for her to keep trying. I can't decide if I am just foolish and like the taste of burnt toast or if Susie's taste buds are more sensitive than mine.

Have you ever tried to gently and lovingly show a sandwich that it's lettuce is wilting and that the buns are a bit soggy? What about telling it that the mayo is a bit "off"! Telling a sandwich that the Swiss cheese just has too many holes in it and that the tomatoes are slipping off of the bread is just about the hardest thing I've ever done. Especially because sandwiches DON'T LISTEN!!! FYI-I'll smack the first one of 'ya that leaves me a comment saying sandwiches don't have ears.

You know the show "The Dog Whisperer". Well, I have now become a very blunt sandwich whisperer. I know, blunt and whispering don't go together but you get the picture, right? I am making slow progress with one part of the sandwich (the big cheese - Egyptian Feta to be exact) and he's sadly realizing the whole (wheat) truth. I really hate this, you know. It's really hard watching my sandwich decaying right before my eyes.

Soon, I hope to be able to post that my sandwich is well taken care of in a nearby cafeteria, where the big cheese can be in independent living and the Canadian bacon is safe and sound in long term care. I pray daily for the strength to endure my indigestion. I have a question for my Catholic friends out there. Is there a patron saint of sandwiches?

P.S. After reading this post Rick wants me to add that he's feeling like a 'Po Boy! I feel like hamming it up myself! Ya gotta keep that sense of humor, right.