You know how you think back to something you wish you'd never done/said? I have many of those moments and just cringe when I think of things I'm not so proud of.
I often think about those times, as I watch Lauren and Josh go about their daily lives. Being the typical (in most aspects) teenagers that they are I hear them say things to people or do things that I can't believe. Don't get me wrong, my kids are great! For the most part, Rick and I are the ones that get the brunt of things from them. But..............like all youth, and some adults, with an underdeveloped prefrontal cortex, L and J lose their cool and blurt out something rude, crass or uncalled for. Sometimes I say something, which of course is met with a 'lovely' response from them, but most of the time it just needs to pass away as quickly as it came out. Ugh.
That's when I reflect back to my own actions and words when I was younger, and ... not so young. Double ugh! But, that's where my new favorite song comes in.
Have you heard of Brandon Heath? You HAVE GOT to hear his song Wait and See! Click on the link and you'll find 2 places, the song and the video, where you can hear it.
What does it say? I've highlighted my favorite parts of the lyrics:
I was born in Tennessee
Late July humidity
Doctor said I was lucky to be alive
I been trouble since the day that I got here
Trouble to the day that I disappear
That will be the day
That I finally get it right
CHORUS:
There is hope for me yet
Because God won't forget
All the plans He's made for me.
I'll have to wait and see
//He's not finished with me yet//
I never really was that good in school
I talked too much broke the rules
Teachers thought I was a hopeless fool alright.
I don't know how but I made it through
It's one of those things that you got to do
I always had a knack for telling the truth
CHORUS
Still wondering why I'm here
Still wrestling with my fear
But Oh! He's up to something
But the farther out I go
I see enough to know
That I'm not here for nothin'
He's up to somethin'
So now's my time to be a man
Follow my heart as far as I can
No tellin' where I'm endin' up tonight
I never slow down or so it seems
But singing my heart is one of my dreams
All I got to do is hold on tight
There is hope for me yet
Because God won't forget
All the plans He's made for me
I'll have to wait and see
////He's not finished with me yet////
God has plans for me. I have no idea what they are. Most of the time I'm only aware of what God doesn't have planned for me. Sometimes I don't like those plans and therefore, react. The older I get I do realize that God does have something in store for me, more than I'm doing now. But I really do have to wait and see!
God isn't finished with Lauren or Josh or Rick or me! Thank God for that! We're a family holding on tight to our faith that there is some amazing future plan for each one of us. I just know it!
Monday, November 16, 2009
I Gotta Feelin'... Woo hoo, Boo hoo
So, I was just sitting on my couch, drinking coffee, trying to catch up on some shows on the DVR before anything else gets erased for lack of memory space. I flipped through my recordings of Oprah and they had the behind the scenes stuff from her opening show for this season, where she had the Black Eyed Peas singing their song "I Got a Feeling". Over 20,000 people totally surprised Oprah with a 'flash mob dance' (I had to look that up!) for the song.
I sat there watching the dance, after seeing it on the opening show and again on YouTube, with the biggest smile on my face and singing along. Pretty typical Beth, right? I love the whole thing; the song, the band, the synchronized movement of the crowd and watching Oprah realize what was happening and then get totally into it. I started tearing up, which is something that I do when I'm happy or sad. I thought I was happy....
All of a sudden I found myself crying for real. Not happy tears but something coming up out of me. It happened yesterday in church too. Tears came from 'nowhere!' and wouldn't stop. Have you ever really noticed how connected happy and sad emotions are? Of course, I'm wondering what my tears are about, but it's also fascinating to me how my emotions went from joy and happiness (that's how I feel when I experience music I like) to sorrow so quickly.
Maybe music is like alcohol, it accentuates whatever emotion is most present at the moment.
So, being the mental health advocate that I am learning to become, I went to the internet to see what researchers say about the most powerful organ in the human body: the brain! Here's what I found...
From an article published by The Society for Neuroscience - "Brain activity during these tasks showed involvement of brain areas typically associated with the generation of emotions and areas that control motor behavior. Listening to self-selected happy and sad musical selections also produced brain activity associated with emotions and music processing.
So, there it is. It's all in the hardwiring! Fascinating, isn't it. Complicated and confusing, isn't it! It's a wonder that anyone is "typical/normal". What a miracle!
Now, not to be ignored is the job to ponder over what's getting to me.........hmmm, so many choices, so little time!
I sat there watching the dance, after seeing it on the opening show and again on YouTube, with the biggest smile on my face and singing along. Pretty typical Beth, right? I love the whole thing; the song, the band, the synchronized movement of the crowd and watching Oprah realize what was happening and then get totally into it. I started tearing up, which is something that I do when I'm happy or sad. I thought I was happy....
All of a sudden I found myself crying for real. Not happy tears but something coming up out of me. It happened yesterday in church too. Tears came from 'nowhere!' and wouldn't stop. Have you ever really noticed how connected happy and sad emotions are? Of course, I'm wondering what my tears are about, but it's also fascinating to me how my emotions went from joy and happiness (that's how I feel when I experience music I like) to sorrow so quickly.
Maybe music is like alcohol, it accentuates whatever emotion is most present at the moment.
So, being the mental health advocate that I am learning to become, I went to the internet to see what researchers say about the most powerful organ in the human body: the brain! Here's what I found...
From an article published by The Society for Neuroscience - "Brain activity during these tasks showed involvement of brain areas typically associated with the generation of emotions and areas that control motor behavior. Listening to self-selected happy and sad musical selections also produced brain activity associated with emotions and music processing.
So, there it is. It's all in the hardwiring! Fascinating, isn't it. Complicated and confusing, isn't it! It's a wonder that anyone is "typical/normal". What a miracle!
Now, not to be ignored is the job to ponder over what's getting to me.........hmmm, so many choices, so little time!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
My political views - part 2
So, let me begin today with the knowledge that many of the things Obama is doing now have been done by past presidents, including Presidents Bush, Clinton, Bush (the dad), Reagan, etc. I know they had czars, I know there was controversy, I know there were illegal things that went on. Why do people who argue for Obama say things like "Well, Bush did that!" Actually, that is a favorite phrase among Obama supporters. Let's blame everything on Bush! Well, get over yourselves. Bush is long gone. Be a mature, responsible gov't and take responsibility for your actions. I personally was quite upset with how things went during the last 1-2 years of Bush's administration. Like I said yesterday, I'm an equal opportunity offender kind of gal! It doesn't matter WHO YOU ARE, WRONG IS WRONG!
The problem I have with Obama and Friends is the word twisting, the deceit, the blame game, and most of all, the arrogance. Ultimate arrogance. Does Obama and his administration really believe that we will fall for it? Well, the answer is........... yes, many people do believe in him. Not as many as before, including many democrats that have reversed their thinking. A lot of the problem is the media, TV and newspaper, that refuse to report anything against Obama, unless forced to. People can't be upset about things if they don't know what's happening. I'm not saying that if you believe in Obama you are uninformed. Not at all. Yet, how can people support an administration that has done the things this one has? Do you think that Americans would stand behind and support Bush if he had:
* flubbed his lines if the teleprompter wasn't working (actually, Bush was constantly ridiculed for this); even Joe Bidden teases about Obama needing his teleprompter
* ignored the American people at every rally (with no arrests, not even garbage on the ground!) and instead said he didn't even know that rallies were occurring , there were protests in over 750 cities nationwide on April 15, 2009 with thousands at each of the larger rallies, even thought many news casts under reported the attendance
* actually, when Cindy Sheehan and about 50 others protested President Bush about the war in Iraq, this is what he had to say, ' "Listen: I sympathize with Mrs. Sheehan. She feels strongly about her position. And she has every right in the world to say what she believes. This is America. She has a right to her position," Mr. Bush said.'
* Bush acknowledged Mrs. Sheehan's right to protest. Obama administration called protesters astro-turf (thanks, Nancy Pelosi!), UnAmerican, racist, ignorant, Nazi's & "tea baggers", I actually had to ask Josh what that meant. It's such a gross boy locker room thing!!! And yes, our president, other elected officials and news reporters called the American people these words. Shameful!
"Obama then mocked the right wing’s tea bagger gatherings for their misplaced anger and, indirectly, Fox News for promoting them: OBAMA: "So, you know, when you see, you know, those of you who are watching certain news channels, on which I’m not very popular, and you see folks waving tea bags around, let me just remind them that I am happy to have a serious conversation about how we are going to cut our health care costs down over the long term how we’re going to stabilize social security. [...] [L]et’s not play games and pretend that the reason is because of the Recovery Act because that’s just a fraction of the overall problem that we’ve got."
* how about the double standards that many Americans are okay with. Not Me!
* made positive statements about Hugo Chavez, Fidel Castro & Mahmoud Ahmadinejad; when Chavez and Castro think you are a liberal, then you are WAAAAAY left
* seemingly aligning himself away from Israel
* trying to silence Fox News- Check out this story from the Associated Press. Here's the first paragraph of the story: 'The Obama administration allowed a Fox News Channel reporter to interview Treasury Department "pay czar" Kenneth Feinberg after other network news executives said they wouldn't use a pool arrangement to speak to him unless Fox was included.
* global warming/climate change - We have laws and regulations in place/more to come to help our planet. I love nature, animals, fresh water; hey where I grew up outside WAS my home, was my playmate and my entertainment. But, there are just some things that are being beaten to death. Carbon footprints. I understand the science behind it. However, the people (Gore, a lot of Hollywood and Washington) yelling the loudest about it are the ones with the biggest footprints!
Okay, I think I'm going to pop a gasket! Have you heard about pet carbon footprints? Oh yes! Our PETS are now also responsible for hurting the earth. Check out this website: Get the 'green' poop bags: Eliminate plastic grocery bags and shop for corn-based, biodegradable poop bags. A pack of 100 bags from Poopbags.com costs around $20
It might sound strange but a research carried out by two New Zealanders has unearthed a startling fact – dogs are a danger to the health of our planet. A medium sized dog has carbon footprints that are comparable to that of a Toyota Land Cruiser that does 6000 miles per year! The article even talks about the ecological fin-print of a goldfish is equal to that of 2 cellphones.
So we are supposed to be concerned about the fin-print of a goldfish when China, Pakistan, India and many other countries with a high industrial population have no plans to change their ecological ways?
I am one of those who doesn't believe in global warming. I choose to believe the many, many SCIENTISTS that have disproven it over Al Gore, whose movie "An Inconvenient Truth" has been proven to have over 20 lies in it, makes millions of dollars for his campaign. Even ABC's Diane Sawyer was harsh on him about the money he is profiting from his opinions! What kind of funds are the real scientists making, hmm?
Now, climate change is another thing. There is no doubt that our world's climate is changing. I have no problem recycling my garbage, trying to reduce and reuse, etc. I do take issue with those who tell me I must buy certain lightbulbs (try disposing of them), buy a green car, etc.
Hey, wasn't it back in the 70's when scientists said that the world was heading for an ice age! I grew up in Canada and remember thinking that we would be affected a lot sooner than others because we were so far up North.
So, I've said a lot of things here. Now you know where I stand! Maybe you think differently of me now, maybe you are angry for me stating my opinions and stating many, many facts. Well, if you do then that's your problem. I don't think less of you for yours! But, please don't ignore facts! If you don't think my facts are correct, please, by all means disprove me. Send me a comment on this blog and let me know where I messed up. Seriously, I am mature enough to handle it if I am wrong. I will post a correction and it won't be on the back page, baby!
Tomorrow, I'll post some pics of Rick, myself and the kids at Houston's Tea Party rally this past Monday night. It was a great event for us.
I wonder what will happen when I wear my tea party rally t-shirt out in public?
I love you all, you democrats, republicans, liberals, conservatives, independents & socialists! :)
The problem I have with Obama and Friends is the word twisting, the deceit, the blame game, and most of all, the arrogance. Ultimate arrogance. Does Obama and his administration really believe that we will fall for it? Well, the answer is........... yes, many people do believe in him. Not as many as before, including many democrats that have reversed their thinking. A lot of the problem is the media, TV and newspaper, that refuse to report anything against Obama, unless forced to. People can't be upset about things if they don't know what's happening. I'm not saying that if you believe in Obama you are uninformed. Not at all. Yet, how can people support an administration that has done the things this one has? Do you think that Americans would stand behind and support Bush if he had:
* flubbed his lines if the teleprompter wasn't working (actually, Bush was constantly ridiculed for this); even Joe Bidden teases about Obama needing his teleprompter
* ignored the American people at every rally (with no arrests, not even garbage on the ground!) and instead said he didn't even know that rallies were occurring , there were protests in over 750 cities nationwide on April 15, 2009 with thousands at each of the larger rallies, even thought many news casts under reported the attendance
* actually, when Cindy Sheehan and about 50 others protested President Bush about the war in Iraq, this is what he had to say, ' "Listen: I sympathize with Mrs. Sheehan. She feels strongly about her position. And she has every right in the world to say what she believes. This is America. She has a right to her position," Mr. Bush said.'
* Bush acknowledged Mrs. Sheehan's right to protest. Obama administration called protesters astro-turf (thanks, Nancy Pelosi!), UnAmerican, racist, ignorant, Nazi's & "tea baggers", I actually had to ask Josh what that meant. It's such a gross boy locker room thing!!! And yes, our president, other elected officials and news reporters called the American people these words. Shameful!
"Obama then mocked the right wing’s tea bagger gatherings for their misplaced anger and, indirectly, Fox News for promoting them: OBAMA: "So, you know, when you see, you know, those of you who are watching certain news channels, on which I’m not very popular, and you see folks waving tea bags around, let me just remind them that I am happy to have a serious conversation about how we are going to cut our health care costs down over the long term how we’re going to stabilize social security. [...] [L]et’s not play games and pretend that the reason is because of the Recovery Act because that’s just a fraction of the overall problem that we’ve got."
* how about the double standards that many Americans are okay with. Not Me!
* made positive statements about Hugo Chavez, Fidel Castro & Mahmoud Ahmadinejad; when Chavez and Castro think you are a liberal, then you are WAAAAAY left
* seemingly aligning himself away from Israel
* trying to silence Fox News- Check out this story from the Associated Press. Here's the first paragraph of the story: 'The Obama administration allowed a Fox News Channel reporter to interview Treasury Department "pay czar" Kenneth Feinberg after other network news executives said they wouldn't use a pool arrangement to speak to him unless Fox was included.
* global warming/climate change - We have laws and regulations in place/more to come to help our planet. I love nature, animals, fresh water; hey where I grew up outside WAS my home, was my playmate and my entertainment. But, there are just some things that are being beaten to death. Carbon footprints. I understand the science behind it. However, the people (Gore, a lot of Hollywood and Washington) yelling the loudest about it are the ones with the biggest footprints!
Okay, I think I'm going to pop a gasket! Have you heard about pet carbon footprints? Oh yes! Our PETS are now also responsible for hurting the earth. Check out this website: Get the 'green' poop bags: Eliminate plastic grocery bags and shop for corn-based, biodegradable poop bags. A pack of 100 bags from Poopbags.com costs around $20
It might sound strange but a research carried out by two New Zealanders has unearthed a startling fact – dogs are a danger to the health of our planet. A medium sized dog has carbon footprints that are comparable to that of a Toyota Land Cruiser that does 6000 miles per year! The article even talks about the ecological fin-print of a goldfish is equal to that of 2 cellphones.
So we are supposed to be concerned about the fin-print of a goldfish when China, Pakistan, India and many other countries with a high industrial population have no plans to change their ecological ways?
I am one of those who doesn't believe in global warming. I choose to believe the many, many SCIENTISTS that have disproven it over Al Gore, whose movie "An Inconvenient Truth" has been proven to have over 20 lies in it, makes millions of dollars for his campaign. Even ABC's Diane Sawyer was harsh on him about the money he is profiting from his opinions! What kind of funds are the real scientists making, hmm?
Now, climate change is another thing. There is no doubt that our world's climate is changing. I have no problem recycling my garbage, trying to reduce and reuse, etc. I do take issue with those who tell me I must buy certain lightbulbs (try disposing of them), buy a green car, etc.
Hey, wasn't it back in the 70's when scientists said that the world was heading for an ice age! I grew up in Canada and remember thinking that we would be affected a lot sooner than others because we were so far up North.
So, I've said a lot of things here. Now you know where I stand! Maybe you think differently of me now, maybe you are angry for me stating my opinions and stating many, many facts. Well, if you do then that's your problem. I don't think less of you for yours! But, please don't ignore facts! If you don't think my facts are correct, please, by all means disprove me. Send me a comment on this blog and let me know where I messed up. Seriously, I am mature enough to handle it if I am wrong. I will post a correction and it won't be on the back page, baby!
Tomorrow, I'll post some pics of Rick, myself and the kids at Houston's Tea Party rally this past Monday night. It was a great event for us.
I wonder what will happen when I wear my tea party rally t-shirt out in public?
I love you all, you democrats, republicans, liberals, conservatives, independents & socialists! :)
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
It's Election Day - I elect to voice my political opinion!
Politics is a scary topic. I have close friends and some family that are liberal, vote democratic & support President Obama. Their reasons vary but none the less, we do not share many of the same views. By no means do I want to alienate them or be divisive. You see, I continue to fight being a people-pleaser. Just check out some of those "personality tests" I've done on Facebook! :)
A year ago today (well, actually Nov. 4th 2008; but last Election Day) I believe that something terrible happened to our country. I knew that Obama would be elected! Rick still held out hope for John McCain but I knew that people were too angry about the war, too angry about our economy and hated President George W. Bush. I knew that Americans were sick and tired of older white men leading our country and that's mostly what the Republican Party gave us to choose from. I was prepared for the results, or so I thought!
I was so wrong! And here I thought Hillary Clinton would divide our country!
Little did I know that our White House administration (Obama, Rahm Emanuel, Tim Geithner, Janet Napolitano, etc., would become so, so, so........ what's the right word. I'm not entirely sure. Here are issues that have frightened me and stuck with me about what "hope and change" have done to our country. This goes for the House and Senate as well, including their illustrious figure heads.
I'll premise this with the fact that some of Obama politics are not new. They've been around for decades and that republicans and conservatives are also just as guilty of such reckless behavior. I take an equal opportunity offender position. If you mess up, regardless of who you are, you should be gone!
Remember, WE VOTE THEM IN! THEY ARE NOT OUR BOSSES! THEY WORK FOR US! Almost all of them, Republican and democrat alike, have forgotten it. And its days like today where we get to VOTE THEM OUT, too.
So, back to the issues that have really struck a nerve with me over the last 9-10 months:
* the way they are going about closing Gitmo; ummm, hello? If other countries don't want these political terrorists (oh sorry, I don't think we're allowed to use that word "terrorist" now) and refuse to take them off of our hands, doesn't that send a message? Who wants Khalid Shaikh Mohammed (remember the killing of Daniel Pearl, remember 9/11), now that his trial being delayed was one of the 1st things Obama did
* lies, lies, lies - how about no pork barrel spending, or no earmarks on bills (then we got over 900 of them), how about trying to reach across "the aisle", how about not being SO left, etc., click here to see Obama's campaign promises
* the czars - hmmm, let's see!
Van Jones
Kevin Jennings, what about him - "Kevin Jennings, President Obama’s Assistant Deputy Secretary of the Office of Safe and Drug FreeSchools at the U.S. Department of Education, is in hot water this week for having failed to report that a 15-year-old sophomore student in his school had told him of having sex with an older man. But failure to report what appeared to be a case of statutory rape of a child may be the least of Jennings’ worries. Lori Roman of Regular Folks United points to statements by Jennings a decade or more ago when he praised Harry Hay of the North American Association for Man-Boy Love Association (NAMBLA), which promotes the legalization of sexual abuse of young boys by older men."
The list of the 30 plus czars - could go on for days! You look it up for yourself! Many of them are very controversial. What does that say about our president? Besides, Republicans & Democrats are upset over the fact that these czars are not investigated by anyone other than Obama's admin., have no confirmation to go through and answer to NO ONE except Obama. Now, even Pelosi, Dodd, Reid and their collegues don't get that favor.
* some of Obama's friends/heroes/idols - Rev. Jeremiah Wright-even Obama distanced himself from Wright, even though before he was elected he sat in Rev. Wright's church for 20 years,
this is an interesting article, by CBS none the less!
William Ayers - "Bill Ayers who, of course, is notorious as one of the founders of the Weather Underground and himself a Weather Underground terrorist in the Sixties who helped to bomb the Pentagon and he and his comrades planned the bombing of the Capitol and other bombings again that were used to intimidate the families of federal prosecutors who were moving against groups like the Black Panthers and such."
Saul Alinsky - "Obama really became a student of Alinsky's work, an expert on it, learning his notions of power, his notions of organizing, and it was Alinsky who originated this idea of what he calls direct action, which was this use of intimidation tactics intentionally militant and scary, both to intimidate politicians and business leaders into doing what these radical groups wanted and also frankly as a kind of organizing tactic because going out and confronting and intimidating people is very exciting and gets a lot of members into your organization.
* ACORN - Obama hailed them until, like Rev. Wright, they started to tarnish him; click on the video from this site, now they are dealing with an investigation favored by Obama, even though he said, "Frankly, it's not really something I've followed closely," Obama said. "I didn't even know that ACORN was getting a whole lot of federal money." REEEAAAALLLLY! $53 million tax dollars is not "a whole lot of federal money. Even CBS had something to say. Yes, I said CBS. You can stop rubbing your eyes! Even CBS can't deny the Obama schemes any longer. How about NBC or ABC? Yep, them too! They were all a little a lot slow on the pick up (I wonder why) they have to report the facts, right?
* the firing of Gerald Walpin - first of all, this is one of Obama's campaign promises "Increase protections for whistleblowers"; "Barack Obama will strengthen whistleblower laws to protect federal workers who expose waste, fraud, and abuse of authority in government."—Obama's The Change We Need In Washington" - oh really!!!! Then, explain this!
* add to the Obama debacle- gov't healthcare bill that the majority American people overwhelmingly don't want to endorse (trillions of dollars for worse healthcare than we have right now, less coverage, less freedom to choose). My family suffers a lot financially because of poor healthcare coverage for our kids' biological disorders but I sure don't want what Canada or Great Britain has! Have you heard ONE SINGLE Canadian or British administrative or regular "Joe" person come out to strongly endorse a gov't run healthcare system? I'm waiting...... Saying that it is better than what we have right now is not good enough (in my opinion and many millions of peoples' too - it will be much worse). I do want healthcare for all citizens that want it. This just isn't the way to go, in my opinion. We ended up in the US because my dad, a former surgeon, did not want to participate in socialized medicine. Have you asked your doctor if they support this healthcare reform?
* how about when people started to say no to Obama/Pelosi/Reid healthcare reform citizens were called racist; "Are you one of the tens of thousands of people who don't want government-run health care and showed up at a town hall or a rally to let it be known? If that's you (then you are part of the right-wing, extremist, angry mob and your anger is fake. It's not organic. It's not grassroots." Have you seen the numerous ways that average Americans have been treated, talked about, vilified by our own elected gov't officials? Disgusting!
So, these are "just the facts, ma'am!" Truly, they are. Look them up if you're not sure. Send me a comment if you think I have my facts wrong.
Whew! I've been working on this posting off and on today and I'm worn out! Never before have I been so charged up about politics! Why now? Because I've been given a message in my life to stand up, stand up to what is wrong (not by my standards, everyone's!), deceitful, and perhaps evil, if I dare say that word. Remember this post or this one! I just gotta do it!
Part 2 tomorrow!It's time for me to do my mom mobile run of the day! Family first!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
No, You're at the Right Place...
...if you're looking for A Rainey Kind of Day! Yes, I know! Every time you come back here my blog looks different. Well, it's like clothes shopping. I found a few websites like this one that makes free backgrounds to use.
So, instead of trying on clothes in Chico's I'm trying on blog backgrounds in my study.
Hope my blinds are closed! :)
So, instead of trying on clothes in Chico's I'm trying on blog backgrounds in my study.
Hope my blinds are closed! :)
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
STIGMA - A Four Letter Word with a Few Extra Thrown in There
Stigma - I hate that word! But, I have to admit, I must fight the stigma of mental health issues within myself.
Lauren had a setback at home today. I won't go into details because that's not the issue. The issue is that my first impression is to NOT TALK ABOUT IT, HIDE IT FROM EVERYONE. There is a part of me that is embarrassed to post this. That's the stigma part. But the advocate in me is stronger! Much stronger!
The advocate in me says "Would I be embarrassed if my child had cancer and had a low blood count? What about if my child's tumor had new cell growth, or if her C125 marker was elevated?"
Of course, the answer is no! No one is at fault for having symptoms of their disease raise their ugly head. You don't blame a person for their body chemistry and biological responses. Lauren can no more control her neurons mis-firing or her brain chemistry being out of whack than a child with leukemia can help going out of remission.
What? How dare I compare my child to a child with leukemia? Am I not sensitive enough to know that children die of leukemia? Well, let me tell you some facts:
* children diagnosed with leukemia these days have less than a 10% chance of dying; I'm not undermining it, 10% is horrific!
* children diagnosed with brain disorders and mental illness (such as bipolar, ADHD, schizophrenia, depression, etc) have approx. 17% chance of death, due to suicide, risky behavior, impulsive decision making, drug & alcohol overdose
* children diagnosed with leukemia can be cured
* children diagnosed with brain disorders and mental illness can NEVER be cured; they must learn to cope, self-manage their disorders for the rest of their lives
* all of these children endure painful blood tests, medical procedures and scans, medications that give them side effects, hospitalizations (except if kids with mental illness are hospitalized for their disorder their parents don't get to spend the night, parents have to leave them there, alone, and usually have limited daily/weekly visits)
* have you ever seen a community fundraiser to raise funds for a family dealing with mental illness; dealing with mental health issues are very expensive and are not paid the same as biological issues, even though they are (the brain is an organ, right?)
* there is no Make-A-Wish foundation for our children
* there are no balloons, or get well wishes or prayer vigils for our children
* people don't like to talk about mental illness or brain disorders even though it is just a disease of the brain
Hmmm, do I sound a little bitter? I ask myself that as I type and the answer is.... no. No, because I don't wish anyone else ill will. I'm not dwelling in self pity. I'm not even saying I wish my kids didn't have their diseases. I'm not bitter, I'm determined. Determined that my children will have the best lives they can, the best that Rick and I can give them with ALL that we have to deal with every day. Their diseases (really it's more of a family's disease/effort) are our main focus in life. Other than our focus on God, the One that has and will continue to lead us through this life.
Sometimes I pray for Lauren and Josh to be healed completely. I have to ask! Jesus performed miracles and why not for my kids! Most of the time, I'm just asking for the strength and faith to continue on our journey, calm or rough as it may be. Being Lauren and Josh's mom has made me a better mother, wife and a better person. They have challenged me (oh boy, have they ever) to rise way above what I thought I could ever do and stay there for months on end.
I am who I am because of my children. If you don't like me the way I am, too &*$# bad! This is whom my children need me to be! I am my children's warrior. I am my children's advocate. I am my children's mom!
Lauren had a setback at home today. I won't go into details because that's not the issue. The issue is that my first impression is to NOT TALK ABOUT IT, HIDE IT FROM EVERYONE. There is a part of me that is embarrassed to post this. That's the stigma part. But the advocate in me is stronger! Much stronger!
The advocate in me says "Would I be embarrassed if my child had cancer and had a low blood count? What about if my child's tumor had new cell growth, or if her C125 marker was elevated?"
Of course, the answer is no! No one is at fault for having symptoms of their disease raise their ugly head. You don't blame a person for their body chemistry and biological responses. Lauren can no more control her neurons mis-firing or her brain chemistry being out of whack than a child with leukemia can help going out of remission.
What? How dare I compare my child to a child with leukemia? Am I not sensitive enough to know that children die of leukemia? Well, let me tell you some facts:
* children diagnosed with leukemia these days have less than a 10% chance of dying; I'm not undermining it, 10% is horrific!
* children diagnosed with brain disorders and mental illness (such as bipolar, ADHD, schizophrenia, depression, etc) have approx. 17% chance of death, due to suicide, risky behavior, impulsive decision making, drug & alcohol overdose
* children diagnosed with leukemia can be cured
* children diagnosed with brain disorders and mental illness can NEVER be cured; they must learn to cope, self-manage their disorders for the rest of their lives
* all of these children endure painful blood tests, medical procedures and scans, medications that give them side effects, hospitalizations (except if kids with mental illness are hospitalized for their disorder their parents don't get to spend the night, parents have to leave them there, alone, and usually have limited daily/weekly visits)
* have you ever seen a community fundraiser to raise funds for a family dealing with mental illness; dealing with mental health issues are very expensive and are not paid the same as biological issues, even though they are (the brain is an organ, right?)
* there is no Make-A-Wish foundation for our children
* there are no balloons, or get well wishes or prayer vigils for our children
* people don't like to talk about mental illness or brain disorders even though it is just a disease of the brain
Hmmm, do I sound a little bitter? I ask myself that as I type and the answer is.... no. No, because I don't wish anyone else ill will. I'm not dwelling in self pity. I'm not even saying I wish my kids didn't have their diseases. I'm not bitter, I'm determined. Determined that my children will have the best lives they can, the best that Rick and I can give them with ALL that we have to deal with every day. Their diseases (really it's more of a family's disease/effort) are our main focus in life. Other than our focus on God, the One that has and will continue to lead us through this life.
Sometimes I pray for Lauren and Josh to be healed completely. I have to ask! Jesus performed miracles and why not for my kids! Most of the time, I'm just asking for the strength and faith to continue on our journey, calm or rough as it may be. Being Lauren and Josh's mom has made me a better mother, wife and a better person. They have challenged me (oh boy, have they ever) to rise way above what I thought I could ever do and stay there for months on end.
I am who I am because of my children. If you don't like me the way I am, too &*$# bad! This is whom my children need me to be! I am my children's warrior. I am my children's advocate. I am my children's mom!
Friday, October 16, 2009
That Better Not Be Martha Stewart at My Door!
I have a dilemma. In a previous post (here) I told you about our the demise of our dining room carpet. So, ever since, I've been slightly embarrassed by it's absence. Not with my close friends. They accept me, my family (and our home, I guess) with all our flaws and love us anyways. That's what friends are for, right?
I'm talking about the OTHERS. Who are the others? Well, that might just be you, the one reading this blog right now. You know - the type of relationship you have with people where you see them in certain settings (like school functions/committees, church, sports) and you can even get really close. Especially if the relationship lasts a long time. BUT.... for some reason it just doesn't bloom into a full blown friendship outside of that setting. You know what I mean, right?
A few months ago, I was taking some food over to some friends we've known in our church for 20 years. Hmmm, that can't be right! I'm not old enough to have friends I've known for 20 years!! Anyways, we haven't seen much of this couple lately and Rick and I enjoyed chatting with them again. We talked about a whole group of us getting together again like we used to, but the husband, Roger, said that his lovely wife, Susan, doesn't want to have anyone over until she has a few things fixed in the house. Boy, can I ever relate!
That got me thinking about my stinkin' dining room carpet, or rather lack of stinkin' carpet! And the pulls in our berber from Astro's claws, and the cracks in the tile, and our less than special back yard, and....,...., and ...., and ..... Now don't get me wrong. We have a lovely home that we've lived in for just over 8 years. I love the size and layout. We're in a beautiful neighborhood, close to our church that we seem to be at all the time, close to our friends, close to what we need, etc. Our house is just at that point where it needs some touch-ups, some fixing up, some repainting, etc. A clean layer of most things. Got the picture?
Then, I think about our finances and how every dime we have goes to our children's tuitions, physicians, therapy, meds, my meds!!, Rick's meds!!, and that we are doing the best we can. Our house can wait, our children can't. Their future is right now!
I also think about people I meet thru outreach work with our church, see on TV or read about that have lost their houses due to job cuts, illnesses, the economy, etc and know how fortunate we are to have all the blessings that God has given us. I should be grateful for having carpet (even with the runs or stains), tiles (with a crack), a yard (without landscaping). Geez, now I feel guilty. God also gave us humility.
BUT... then comes the latest junk mail with all it's real estate, new home construction or remodeling photos and I go right back to thinking how embarrassed I am by the state of my house. Some of those 7 deadly sins raise their ugly heads again.
Wait a minute - what am I so ashamed of? That we spend all we can and more on giving our children the best chance in life with the conditions they were born with, and still find a bit to give back to God. That we have a lived-in home? That I spend more of my time on Rick and my kids and our lives than my house? Hmmm, I bet that's how God wants it! That my kids and dogs and cats are constantly in and out of my house so much I can't keep track of their shoe/paw prints? Or is it that I think people will see me as a terrible person because I don't want to scrub my carpets until theyshine, glow, unstain!!! Hey, news flash! I don't want to scrub my carpets. I don't want to wipe every scuff off my walls. I don't want to spend every dollar we earn or every hour of every weekend fixing up my house so it looks like Better Homes and Gardens. Well, I wouldn't even come close, but I could dream.
I, just like all of you, want to live and play and laugh. I want to do fun things, go to movies, take a nap on Sunday afternoons (now that my kids are older and I don't have to worry about them running out the door naked wearing nothing but a Batman cape), be outside when Texas weather permits, dance in my living room while listening to my iPod and do just enough chores and laundry to keep us going. Don't get me wrong, I like a clean kitchen, a sparkling fridge and a tidy underwear drawer but Betty Crocker I ain't!
So, what's the bottom line in all of this verbage? I'm intimidated by my friends' houses that look so neat and tidy when I go in them. They all look so clean, beautifully/charmingly decorated, organized and updated and mine, well...... doesn't. But, I guess I don't want to work as hard as all of my friends to have houses that look like that either. Wish I did, but oh well. Or maybe, like Roger and Susan, you might just feel like I do. That we all want to be more social, wish to be more spontaneous and invite people (other than our closest friends/family) to come over just for fun and hope than they care more about the people in the house than the dust bunnies hiding in the corners.
So, next time I invite you over you BETTER NOT comment on my concrete floor if you know what's good for 'ya! Just kidding. Hey, Roger and Susan, your house or mine?
I'm talking about the OTHERS. Who are the others? Well, that might just be you, the one reading this blog right now. You know - the type of relationship you have with people where you see them in certain settings (like school functions/committees, church, sports) and you can even get really close. Especially if the relationship lasts a long time. BUT.... for some reason it just doesn't bloom into a full blown friendship outside of that setting. You know what I mean, right?
A few months ago, I was taking some food over to some friends we've known in our church for 20 years. Hmmm, that can't be right! I'm not old enough to have friends I've known for 20 years!! Anyways, we haven't seen much of this couple lately and Rick and I enjoyed chatting with them again. We talked about a whole group of us getting together again like we used to, but the husband, Roger, said that his lovely wife, Susan, doesn't want to have anyone over until she has a few things fixed in the house. Boy, can I ever relate!
That got me thinking about my stinkin' dining room carpet, or rather lack of stinkin' carpet! And the pulls in our berber from Astro's claws, and the cracks in the tile, and our less than special back yard, and....,...., and ...., and ..... Now don't get me wrong. We have a lovely home that we've lived in for just over 8 years. I love the size and layout. We're in a beautiful neighborhood, close to our church that we seem to be at all the time, close to our friends, close to what we need, etc. Our house is just at that point where it needs some touch-ups, some fixing up, some repainting, etc. A clean layer of most things. Got the picture?
Then, I think about our finances and how every dime we have goes to our children's tuitions, physicians, therapy, meds, my meds!!, Rick's meds!!, and that we are doing the best we can. Our house can wait, our children can't. Their future is right now!
I also think about people I meet thru outreach work with our church, see on TV or read about that have lost their houses due to job cuts, illnesses, the economy, etc and know how fortunate we are to have all the blessings that God has given us. I should be grateful for having carpet (even with the runs or stains), tiles (with a crack), a yard (without landscaping). Geez, now I feel guilty. God also gave us humility.
BUT... then comes the latest junk mail with all it's real estate, new home construction or remodeling photos and I go right back to thinking how embarrassed I am by the state of my house. Some of those 7 deadly sins raise their ugly heads again.
Wait a minute - what am I so ashamed of? That we spend all we can and more on giving our children the best chance in life with the conditions they were born with, and still find a bit to give back to God. That we have a lived-in home? That I spend more of my time on Rick and my kids and our lives than my house? Hmmm, I bet that's how God wants it! That my kids and dogs and cats are constantly in and out of my house so much I can't keep track of their shoe/paw prints? Or is it that I think people will see me as a terrible person because I don't want to scrub my carpets until they
I, just like all of you, want to live and play and laugh. I want to do fun things, go to movies, take a nap on Sunday afternoons (now that my kids are older and I don't have to worry about them running out the door naked wearing nothing but a Batman cape), be outside when Texas weather permits, dance in my living room while listening to my iPod and do just enough chores and laundry to keep us going. Don't get me wrong, I like a clean kitchen, a sparkling fridge and a tidy underwear drawer but Betty Crocker I ain't!
So, what's the bottom line in all of this verbage? I'm intimidated by my friends' houses that look so neat and tidy when I go in them. They all look so clean, beautifully/charmingly decorated, organized and updated and mine, well...... doesn't. But, I guess I don't want to work as hard as all of my friends to have houses that look like that either. Wish I did, but oh well. Or maybe, like Roger and Susan, you might just feel like I do. That we all want to be more social, wish to be more spontaneous and invite people (other than our closest friends/family) to come over just for fun and hope than they care more about the people in the house than the dust bunnies hiding in the corners.
So, next time I invite you over you BETTER NOT comment on my concrete floor if you know what's good for 'ya! Just kidding. Hey, Roger and Susan, your house or mine?
Sunday, October 4, 2009
OMG! I'm LOL/ROFL/ROFLM*O! Wanna Come?
I just posted a story this past weekend for the first time in 8 months. I had to check the rest of the blog site to see what else was needing a fixer upper and decided to add a link to a YouTube video. Turn to the right (shout out to the great move "Raising Arizona"), scroll down to my Do You Like YouTube section and click on Baseball Players Dance!
Isn't it hilarious! I just love it. Yes, I love music, all kinds of music and dancing. I also don't mind watching baseball, seeing as that's Rick's favorite sport and he used to play. Actually, he still plays for the Klein Krawlers team, when he hasn't pulled a muscle or sprained something. Aren't baseball players just mighty cute! Gotta love a man in a uniform. Okay, had a little bit of an ADD moment there.
The real reason I love this video is because it symbolizes how I try to view my life. Here are these people, on the field fired up to do their job. Life (in this case, rain) gets in the way and what's their reaction? Did they scream and yell, pout in the dugout, pitch a fit to their team manager, shake their fists to the heavens?
No, they danced. They let go of what they couldn't change and decided to have some fun. They even had fun with the other team, their opponents, the "enemy". The best thing they did was laugh.
When I was growing up there were lots of wonderful things and some not so great things to deal with. Somehow, as I became a teenager and young adult, I focused more on the 'rain delays' in my life. I was shy (I know, hard to believe, huh?), too serious, and afraid of life. Really afraid. The ironic thing is that, at that moment in my young life, I didn't even know of the rain delays heading my way, let alone the hurricanes!
You wanna know what changed things for me. Marrying Rick and becoming Lauren and Josh's mom! Have you heard my hubbie do impressions or tell a joke? He's a riot. Was the hero of his fraternity for winning them a keg in a comedy contest in Austin. Won a trip to St. Louis to see MLB after coming out the winner in a sports impersonation contest held by FM 950 KPRC. My kids inherited his talent for voice impersonations and witty thinking. When the 3 of them get going, I laugh so hard I cry. They do a mean "Family Guy" routine (even though I hate Family Guy; it's so rude!). But it wasn't necessarily the wonderful family moments or fun-loving goofy things that brought me out of my funk, although it should have. It was the heartbreak. The rain delays. The hurricanes and tornadoes. As life swirled around us as a family, at one point I thought I might just go down the tubes. Fortunately, God made me survivor, determined to get through the bad stuff and come out the other side for the better. Heart surgeries, PDD, bipolar disorder, specialist physicians, schools not being able to help my kids leading to therapeutic schools across town, medication side affects, financial strain to the max, PTSD, driving 120 miles a day, etc....
I thank God for my faith every day. Some days it's stronger than others, but it's always there. Has been growing daily for 2 decades now. God has given me many gifts to get me through - my personal strengths, family and friends who love and support us, wonderful professionals to guide and teach us, HOPE (that's a biggy) and LAUGHTER. Thank God for laughter.
I love to laugh. I laugh a lot. I have a unique laugh, or so I've been told 100's of times. Not sure what "unique" means but, .... it doesn't concern me. Isn't laughter one of the best medicines for a body, mind and soul? It totally and instantly takes me out of what I'm stressed about, makes me feel younger at heart and full of life.
Isn't it hilarious! I just love it. Yes, I love music, all kinds of music and dancing. I also don't mind watching baseball, seeing as that's Rick's favorite sport and he used to play. Actually, he still plays for the Klein Krawlers team, when he hasn't pulled a muscle or sprained something. Aren't baseball players just mighty cute! Gotta love a man in a uniform. Okay, had a little bit of an ADD moment there.
The real reason I love this video is because it symbolizes how I try to view my life. Here are these people, on the field fired up to do their job. Life (in this case, rain) gets in the way and what's their reaction? Did they scream and yell, pout in the dugout, pitch a fit to their team manager, shake their fists to the heavens?
No, they danced. They let go of what they couldn't change and decided to have some fun. They even had fun with the other team, their opponents, the "enemy". The best thing they did was laugh.
When I was growing up there were lots of wonderful things and some not so great things to deal with. Somehow, as I became a teenager and young adult, I focused more on the 'rain delays' in my life. I was shy (I know, hard to believe, huh?), too serious, and afraid of life. Really afraid. The ironic thing is that, at that moment in my young life, I didn't even know of the rain delays heading my way, let alone the hurricanes!
You wanna know what changed things for me. Marrying Rick and becoming Lauren and Josh's mom! Have you heard my hubbie do impressions or tell a joke? He's a riot. Was the hero of his fraternity for winning them a keg in a comedy contest in Austin. Won a trip to St. Louis to see MLB after coming out the winner in a sports impersonation contest held by FM 950 KPRC. My kids inherited his talent for voice impersonations and witty thinking. When the 3 of them get going, I laugh so hard I cry. They do a mean "Family Guy" routine (even though I hate Family Guy; it's so rude!). But it wasn't necessarily the wonderful family moments or fun-loving goofy things that brought me out of my funk, although it should have. It was the heartbreak. The rain delays. The hurricanes and tornadoes. As life swirled around us as a family, at one point I thought I might just go down the tubes. Fortunately, God made me survivor, determined to get through the bad stuff and come out the other side for the better. Heart surgeries, PDD, bipolar disorder, specialist physicians, schools not being able to help my kids leading to therapeutic schools across town, medication side affects, financial strain to the max, PTSD, driving 120 miles a day, etc....
I thank God for my faith every day. Some days it's stronger than others, but it's always there. Has been growing daily for 2 decades now. God has given me many gifts to get me through - my personal strengths, family and friends who love and support us, wonderful professionals to guide and teach us, HOPE (that's a biggy) and LAUGHTER. Thank God for laughter.
I love to laugh. I laugh a lot. I have a unique laugh, or so I've been told 100's of times. Not sure what "unique" means but, .... it doesn't concern me. Isn't laughter one of the best medicines for a body, mind and soul? It totally and instantly takes me out of what I'm stressed about, makes me feel younger at heart and full of life.
I can't wait to see what cracks me up (with laughter, that is) today? Here's praying that you as well will have that belly jiggling-snorting through your nose-laughing so hard you cry-almost wet your pants-laugh so hard people around you start laughing kind of opportunity today. If you do, leave me a comment and tell me what happened to I can chuckle some more!
LOL/ROFL/ROFLM*O!
Saturday, October 3, 2009
I'm Standing Up
So, lately I've been getting this message over and over ............. STAND UP FOR WHAT IS RIGHT! You know, this is not easy. Simple but not easy.The real problem I have is why is it not easy? Why are some considered to be a rebel, outspoken, being difficult, bossy, opinionated, or judgemental for doing the right thing? Isn't standing up for justice being done or doing the right thing what we're all supposed to do?
Take this situation. If someone is sick, not of body but of mind, and behaves in a really sick way that hurts other people, why is it wrong to stand up against that! Now, by standing up against it, I DO NOT MEAN doing that person wrong in return. No bad-mouthing, no gossiping, no character attack, slander, etc. ............ just holding that person responsible for their behavior. Like holding a mirror up to their faces. Sometimes it's just not enough to turn the other cheek or to walk away. Not everyone should be let off the hook.
Just because sick people don't like someone saying "Your behavior is not appropriate" that doesn't make it wrong to say. Right? I know in this day and age we're supposed to be politically correct and not hurt other people's feelings, but come on people!
So WWJD? Jesus didn't hold back his comments about society's bad behavior. At times He was VERY vocal! He also was loving, generous, understanding, caring, dependable, forgiving and moral. I'm not saying I'm like Jesus but I do try to be like Him. That's what my devotion to my Christian faith expects of me. I'm not being self-righteous or pious. I hold myself to high standards. I expect anyone who sees ME acting in such ways to call me on it. Please do. I want you to.
Let's shake on it!
I Can't Stand It Anymore!
So, my last post was in January. Then,....... nothin'. Those who know me know that when my family has a more than a Rainey kind of day, more like a thunderstorm kind of season, then I hunker down in whatever the hailstorm is and deal with it. But, I promised I wouldn't post it, wouldn't dwell in it here, was going to keep my blog positive.... I have to break my promise!
Why? Because it's not me. I'm a "deal with it" kind of person. Whatever hits the fan, I'm dealing with it. And again, if you know me, then you know that NOT communicating is NOT my way. I don't shy away from anything painful, hurtful, difficult, because I can't live life if I don't. Keeping my blog positive just isn't logical. Life isn't positive. I don't keel over because my life isn't positive so why should my blog? My blog is an aspect of me and my life must/will go on, as will my blog.
So there, if you don't like any stuff I put in it now, don't read. I'm not being rude, negative or in your face. Just real. Real is what I'm all about. I say in my profile that I'm an advocate for my kids, brain disorders/mental illness, LIFE! What kind of advocate says nothing. Only an inefficient one, right?
Okay then! Let's move on!
Why? Because it's not me. I'm a "deal with it" kind of person. Whatever hits the fan, I'm dealing with it. And again, if you know me, then you know that NOT communicating is NOT my way. I don't shy away from anything painful, hurtful, difficult, because I can't live life if I don't. Keeping my blog positive just isn't logical. Life isn't positive. I don't keel over because my life isn't positive so why should my blog? My blog is an aspect of me and my life must/will go on, as will my blog.
So there, if you don't like any stuff I put in it now, don't read. I'm not being rude, negative or in your face. Just real. Real is what I'm all about. I say in my profile that I'm an advocate for my kids, brain disorders/mental illness, LIFE! What kind of advocate says nothing. Only an inefficient one, right?
Okay then! Let's move on!
Monday, January 12, 2009
.....And Now, For Your Stop Light Entertainment.....
Okay, Kellee, this is for you.
The other day some friends and I were talking about my blog. Someone else overheard us, asked me what a blog was and I told him it was kind of like an Internet 'diary', where I write random thoughts, stories, adventures and opinions to whomever wants to see them. We laughed about how a person's blog posting hopefully is not going to be as private as a diary entry, but that got me thinking......What would be something that I could divulge to anyone who happens to land on "A Rainey Kind of Day" that is not necessarily my usual type of posting but not too embarrassing? I came up with this:
Every one who knows me well knows that there are a few things I do EVERY day, other than what every person does daily. They are, in no particular order, drink strong coffee, drive great distances with at least 1 moody person in the back seat, pick lots of yellow dog hair off of my clothes, make sure EVERYONE in our house takes ALL of their medications!!!!!!, sit still for 30 seconds and think "OMG - this is my life", tell Astro to get out of the garbage, pray to God to get through the next hour, thank God for getting me through the last hour, wipe Astro's muddy paws even though the other 2 dogs are perfectly clean, tell Astro it's a darn good thing he's so cute, dance and sing. Today I'm going to focus on the last 2- dancing and singing.
I love to sing. I sing every day, to every song I hear (except rap - me and rap - they don't jive, man). See what I mean. I don't even have the lingo down correctly. Anyways, I don't think I'm capable of just listening to a song. I HAVE to sing it. Even if I don't know it. Once you've sung in choir long enough and are familiar with music you can tell pretty much tell what notes/key changes are coming up next. I love my singing and God loves my singing. My children used to love my singing when they were under the age of 10. Nothing calmed them down more than me singing to them.
The only problem is that my voice is only a so-so kind of voice. I'm fine to sing in a big choir, and once in a while I can surprise myself and realize that I've sung something well, but for the most part, I'm just a marginal singer. Now this is hard for me to admit. Okay, okay, stop your laughing! Admit? What's to admit, you say? You've known this all along, you say? What's hard for me is that I'm used to only doing the things I do well. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, in case you haven't noticed. :) I LOVE singing so much I'm willing to lay my flaws out for everyone to hear just so I can sing. If I really got bold, I would love to take voice lessons, but I might have to take a sip of tequila (oops, not tequila - remember Sept. 1983) coconut rum to sing by myself in front of a voice teacher. Only my husband and children have to listen to me sing because they love me and wouldn't be able to find anything in the pantry, have matching socks, know where the stamps are, or when it's time to go to the dentist without me. If they don't let me sing, I walk! I mean it!!! I pretend I don't see the eye rolling.
So, I've confessed the singing part to you, well most of it, but as you can imagine, along with singing comes dancing. My passion for dancing is just about as strong as it is for singing. You can't have 1 without the other in my book. That's why I love the Joyful Noise choir. I get to sing AND dance with a bunch of little ones who don't complain about my lack of talent and the other leaders don't say anything because they are my friends and wouldn't hurt my feelings. It's the best of both worlds. The other place where I do most of my singing and dancing is in my car. Yup, in the car. I carry a large variety of music with me, everything from Alan Jackson to Enya, Aerosmith to Josh Groban, Phil Collins to Christian music, classical to Buddy Holly to Andrew Lloyd Webber music. Right now, I'm on a movie soundtrack kick. I go back and forth between Mamma Mia, Hairspray and Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat (we have the video production w/ Donny Osmand as Joseph). You tell me how I'm supposed to sing these songs without dancing!!! Yea, uh huh, just try it yourself and see if you're successful. You really can do a fair amount of moving around as you drive and still be safe. Obviously I don't move my feet, but you can move your shoulders, hips and hiney, make hand gestures (not the rude kind - the ones that go along with the ones from the movie, you silly willys) and of course the head and neck. Remember, I am half Egyptian.
The other day some friends and I were talking about my blog. Someone else overheard us, asked me what a blog was and I told him it was kind of like an Internet 'diary', where I write random thoughts, stories, adventures and opinions to whomever wants to see them. We laughed about how a person's blog posting hopefully is not going to be as private as a diary entry, but that got me thinking......What would be something that I could divulge to anyone who happens to land on "A Rainey Kind of Day" that is not necessarily my usual type of posting but not too embarrassing? I came up with this:
Every one who knows me well knows that there are a few things I do EVERY day, other than what every person does daily. They are, in no particular order, drink strong coffee, drive great distances with at least 1 moody person in the back seat, pick lots of yellow dog hair off of my clothes, make sure EVERYONE in our house takes ALL of their medications!!!!!!, sit still for 30 seconds and think "OMG - this is my life", tell Astro to get out of the garbage, pray to God to get through the next hour, thank God for getting me through the last hour, wipe Astro's muddy paws even though the other 2 dogs are perfectly clean, tell Astro it's a darn good thing he's so cute, dance and sing. Today I'm going to focus on the last 2- dancing and singing.
I love to sing. I sing every day, to every song I hear (except rap - me and rap - they don't jive, man). See what I mean. I don't even have the lingo down correctly. Anyways, I don't think I'm capable of just listening to a song. I HAVE to sing it. Even if I don't know it. Once you've sung in choir long enough and are familiar with music you can tell pretty much tell what notes/key changes are coming up next. I love my singing and God loves my singing. My children used to love my singing when they were under the age of 10. Nothing calmed them down more than me singing to them.
The only problem is that my voice is only a so-so kind of voice. I'm fine to sing in a big choir, and once in a while I can surprise myself and realize that I've sung something well, but for the most part, I'm just a marginal singer. Now this is hard for me to admit. Okay, okay, stop your laughing! Admit? What's to admit, you say? You've known this all along, you say? What's hard for me is that I'm used to only doing the things I do well. I'm a bit of a perfectionist, in case you haven't noticed. :) I LOVE singing so much I'm willing to lay my flaws out for everyone to hear just so I can sing. If I really got bold, I would love to take voice lessons, but I might have to take a sip of tequila (oops, not tequila - remember Sept. 1983) coconut rum to sing by myself in front of a voice teacher. Only my husband and children have to listen to me sing because they love me and wouldn't be able to find anything in the pantry, have matching socks, know where the stamps are, or when it's time to go to the dentist without me. If they don't let me sing, I walk! I mean it!!! I pretend I don't see the eye rolling.
So, I've confessed the singing part to you, well most of it, but as you can imagine, along with singing comes dancing. My passion for dancing is just about as strong as it is for singing. You can't have 1 without the other in my book. That's why I love the Joyful Noise choir. I get to sing AND dance with a bunch of little ones who don't complain about my lack of talent and the other leaders don't say anything because they are my friends and wouldn't hurt my feelings. It's the best of both worlds. The other place where I do most of my singing and dancing is in my car. Yup, in the car. I carry a large variety of music with me, everything from Alan Jackson to Enya, Aerosmith to Josh Groban, Phil Collins to Christian music, classical to Buddy Holly to Andrew Lloyd Webber music. Right now, I'm on a movie soundtrack kick. I go back and forth between Mamma Mia, Hairspray and Joseph and the Technicolor Dreamcoat (we have the video production w/ Donny Osmand as Joseph). You tell me how I'm supposed to sing these songs without dancing!!! Yea, uh huh, just try it yourself and see if you're successful. You really can do a fair amount of moving around as you drive and still be safe. Obviously I don't move my feet, but you can move your shoulders, hips and hiney, make hand gestures (not the rude kind - the ones that go along with the ones from the movie, you silly willys) and of course the head and neck. Remember, I am half Egyptian.
So, while you drive down the road and see other drivers talking on their cell phones, eating, putting on makeup, picking their noses (only men do this, because women know that people can still see you), shaving, etc... you can find me belting out "Good Morning Baltimore" or "I Can Hear the Bells" from Hairspray and doing as many of the motions as I can (and still be safe!). When I get to a stop light, baby watch out 'cause there are no holds barred. I'm performing full force and I don't care who's watching. I could totally see myself on some stage somewhere. Maybe not Broadway. Maybe not even Tomball Theatre but hey, in my head, I'm awesome!
So, this is my sad but true diary/blog confession. Now you know the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Sadly, God did not bless me with the talent that I think I'm supposed to have, but the older I get, the less I care what others think. My friends and family love me for who I am, I can laugh at my self and as for the rest of 'em..........well, I'll have to save those words for my real diary!
So, this is my sad but true diary/blog confession. Now you know the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Sadly, God did not bless me with the talent that I think I'm supposed to have, but the older I get, the less I care what others think. My friends and family love me for who I am, I can laugh at my self and as for the rest of 'em..........well, I'll have to save those words for my real diary!
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Beth, the Plagiarizer - I Should be Ashamed, but I'm Not!
I don't have to think of a clever post today. My friend, Hilary, did it for me in her post titled "I Get Knocked Down .....". ! Click here and you'll understand.
Go ahead, I'll wait!
She wrote exactly how I think and feel, and she got a video embedded in probably 1/4 of the time it takes me to do it. This explains why she's one of my best friends.
Hey, I remember that Chumbawumba video......I was probably living in Austin, had even bigger hair than I have now, wearing lots of eyeshadow and mascara (big in the '80's), leggings (it's okay, I was much thinner) and flats. If it was my freshman year, I was probably drinking and then throwing up somewhere. Hey, I threw up in some of the best places Austin had to offer. That's what happens when you don't drink in high school and you don't know about Everclear, or Long Island Iced Teas or mixing the two on the same night. I can't drink margaritas to this very day because of a baaaaaad night in Sept. 1983. That's the first and last time I EVER had tequila. If I even get the slightest of whiffs of tequila I'm instantly transported back to The Castillian dorm, 14th floor (I think). Ugh, I think my stomach just did a flip flop just typing about it.
Okay, ......... how did I get from our woes of 2008 to my tequila adventure of 1983. That's what happens to you when you're under stress and you've had a year like Hilary's and mine. Oh my goodness, I'm in sad shape. Pass the Tums, please.
Go ahead, I'll wait!
She wrote exactly how I think and feel, and she got a video embedded in probably 1/4 of the time it takes me to do it. This explains why she's one of my best friends.
Hey, I remember that Chumbawumba video......I was probably living in Austin, had even bigger hair than I have now, wearing lots of eyeshadow and mascara (big in the '80's), leggings (it's okay, I was much thinner) and flats. If it was my freshman year, I was probably drinking and then throwing up somewhere. Hey, I threw up in some of the best places Austin had to offer. That's what happens when you don't drink in high school and you don't know about Everclear, or Long Island Iced Teas or mixing the two on the same night. I can't drink margaritas to this very day because of a baaaaaad night in Sept. 1983. That's the first and last time I EVER had tequila. If I even get the slightest of whiffs of tequila I'm instantly transported back to The Castillian dorm, 14th floor (I think). Ugh, I think my stomach just did a flip flop just typing about it.
Okay, ......... how did I get from our woes of 2008 to my tequila adventure of 1983. That's what happens to you when you're under stress and you've had a year like Hilary's and mine. Oh my goodness, I'm in sad shape. Pass the Tums, please.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Bye Bye 2008! Glad to See You Go!
Happy New Year! The Raineys started out 2009 just the way we hope the year goes ...... peaceful, relaxed and happy. Rick and I slept in while the kids were entertaining themselves with their Christmas goodies (I can't say 'toys' anymore). Rick made a great breakfast and coffee and we puttered around with no real agenda. It was great.
Josh's favorite gift was Guitar Hero for his Wii system. He's really good on the guitar and now the drums, although I can only do the guitar so far. Today we broke out the microphone. So, while Josh was the drummer I tried my hand at being the lead singer. Rick was our audience and I guess I must have done a pretty good job because Rick took off his shirt, flung it over his head and then threw it at me. Wow, having a groupie is a mighty awesome thing!
A miracle occurred and we can now see the floor in Lauren's room. She's working very hard and is just about finished. Oh my, it's been 9 months in the making (or should I say 'messing') so I'm impressed that she did it in 1 week. Hey, when Lauren sets her mind to something, it's going to get done and you better just get out of the way.
We've had a great Christmas, filled with down time and busy time; being at home and visiting; being on our own and being surrounded by friends and family. Most of all it was a chance for us to regroup as a family of 4, settle our minds and bodies and remind ourselves of what is REALLY important to us in life. Now our goal is to make 2009 the best we can, regardless of the circumstances. Lord knows we all get thrown curve balls but it's how well we catch them that really matters.
The song that our children's choir will sing in January is called "Trust in the Lord" and it's one of my favorites. My family, in their kind way of laughing at my Kindergarten ways, chuckles at me when I practice my Joyful Noise songs because I'm doing the choreography (shout out to you, Hilary) as I sing and, of course, I have to put a lot of expression into my voice and motions to convey that to the kids. The song is based on my favorite scripture, although I'm far from a scripture quoting person. These words just seem to sum up what's happened to me, to our family, and I choose to have faith and trust in God, knowing that He has a plan. I don't know what those plans are (they look like stinky curve balls to me!) but He knows better and I will know why eventually. I really do trust in the Lord and will continue to in 2009. Will you?
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Josh's favorite gift was Guitar Hero for his Wii system. He's really good on the guitar and now the drums, although I can only do the guitar so far. Today we broke out the microphone. So, while Josh was the drummer I tried my hand at being the lead singer. Rick was our audience and I guess I must have done a pretty good job because Rick took off his shirt, flung it over his head and then threw it at me. Wow, having a groupie is a mighty awesome thing!
A miracle occurred and we can now see the floor in Lauren's room. She's working very hard and is just about finished. Oh my, it's been 9 months in the making (or should I say 'messing') so I'm impressed that she did it in 1 week. Hey, when Lauren sets her mind to something, it's going to get done and you better just get out of the way.
We've had a great Christmas, filled with down time and busy time; being at home and visiting; being on our own and being surrounded by friends and family. Most of all it was a chance for us to regroup as a family of 4, settle our minds and bodies and remind ourselves of what is REALLY important to us in life. Now our goal is to make 2009 the best we can, regardless of the circumstances. Lord knows we all get thrown curve balls but it's how well we catch them that really matters.
The song that our children's choir will sing in January is called "Trust in the Lord" and it's one of my favorites. My family, in their kind way of laughing at my Kindergarten ways, chuckles at me when I practice my Joyful Noise songs because I'm doing the choreography (shout out to you, Hilary) as I sing and, of course, I have to put a lot of expression into my voice and motions to convey that to the kids. The song is based on my favorite scripture, although I'm far from a scripture quoting person. These words just seem to sum up what's happened to me, to our family, and I choose to have faith and trust in God, knowing that He has a plan. I don't know what those plans are (they look like stinky curve balls to me!) but He knows better and I will know why eventually. I really do trust in the Lord and will continue to in 2009. Will you?
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your paths" (Proverbs 3:5-6)
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