Mom Alert!

Right now, I'm listening to the various sounds of my family. Rick is doing dishes, Josh is feeding the dogs, Lauren is............. hmmm, I don't hear her. That's not necessarily a bad thing! Remember when your kids were little and NOT hearing them meant they were probably spreading Vaseline in their hair (or something like that). Well, now that my kids are teenagers, when I don't hear them yelling at me, at each other, at the hair straightener that just won't 'do right', etc., to quote Martha Stewart - "It's a good thing".

These days my life is so 'mom'ish. You know - wake up; open your eyes, for the 3rd time come downstairs RIGHT NOW; we're not eating hot Cheetos for breakfast; does everyone have clean underwear; did you shower?; let me smell your hair to see if you used shampoo; go brush your teeth; your teeth are not clean; go clean your teeth; grab your lunch; oh, you forgot to make one; I guess you'll be hungry; no, it's not my problem that you'll starve at lunch; get out the door; get in the car; I love you and now get out of the car; .............. whew, it's just 8:30 a.m.

Wanna know when I really knew I was a mom? I was in my gold mini-van, sitting in the carpool lane waiting to pick up Lauren from Kindergarten. Josh was about 3 and fairly newly potty trained. Josh looks at me and says "Mama, I have to go potty RIGHT NOW!". You know that look. It means it doesn't matter how nasty that gas station bathroom is, they've gotta go! I was trapped in the carpool lane so I couldn't take him in the school and leave my car unattended. Did you know it's a sin to block the carpool lane and not keep it moving? Anyways, I looked around my van to see a plastic glass of water. As I opened my car door and dumped out the water I was thinking about how I was going to have to convince Josh that JUST THIS ONE TIME it was okay to pee in the plastic cup. Well, he read my mind. As I closed the door and turned around to unbuckle his car seat, Josh was already trying to pull down his pants. He was, ummmm, doing his business (thank goodness he's a boy) when we had to pull forward in the line. So, I'm driving a mini-van with one hand in the carpool line, holding a cup full of pee while my toddler is finishing up. Yup, that was the glorious moment.

Somehow this was not what I envisioned when Rick and I jumped up and down with glee at 6:00 in the morning after finding out that "the stick" turned blue and I was pregnant. But, after 16 years of motherhood I wouldn't have it any other way. Actually, there isn't any other way but I'm trying to put a positive spin on this, okay. Work with me, people!

Happy Mother's Day to all my favorite "moms" out there, even the doggie moms! Love you all.